By  for The Guardian. I have some helpful things to say if you are thinking about taking LSD. Do it somewhere nice. A safe space, if you like. And do it with people you trust. One of the worst days of my life was taking it and going to the Dolphinarium in Brighton. Not one of my most sensible decisions in retrospect (and there is a fair range to choose from). I don’t really like dolphins anyway and there they were, these weird rubberised fish things being sexually taunted by women in wetsuits. I was convinced they would leap out of the water any second, massacring the audience while making those horrible chattering noises. On the train back to Victoria, I was certain we were actually on the way to Auschwitz but no one wanted to admit it. So that was what you might call a bad trip, maan. And I hope this is putting you off taking this drug sufficiently for you not to bother to tell me it is illegal and potentially brain mashing.

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